We were deeply disturbed to hear about this potentially dangerous wind spill, which was announced last Friday, April 1st. The fact that there has been no further reporting of such a major incident indicates that the global wind energy cartel is once again ruthlessly crushing any attempts by journalists to report on the negative sides of this supposedly green energy source.
Man Suffers Embarrassment Due to Wind Spill Mishap
A malfunction at a Nevada wind farm, which spilled more than 50 million barrels of cool breezes around the Great Basin, has resulted in a man losing a valuable hairpiece. The man, a middle-aged sales representative known to colleagues as Jerry, was driving down a road near the wind farm in a late-model convertible when the massive wind spill occurred. He says his hairpiece — commonly referred to as a toupee — was lifted in its entirety from his head by errant winds whilst he was in the company of a young, female coworker.
The hairpiece was carried by spilled winds into a nearby ditch, where it encountered both a moldy pizza and a gently used diaper. It was rendered unfit for further use. The man, who plans to sue the state of Nevada and wind-farm owners for pain and suffering, claims the farm’s operators are guilty of gross negligence in the matter of the accidental wind release. “If this had been an oil refinery, my dignity would be intact,” he said.
Disaster first responders worked to contain the breezes using booms while spraying controversial air dispersants on presumed wind sources. When these efforts failed, responders elected instead to fly children’s kites over the disaster scene in a bid to distract citizens.
No other hairpiece casualties have been reported from the spill.